Aquastic | Sea of Azov (Original Mix)

Walking down the street one day thinking to myself, what am I not seeing or missing that everyone out there sees and funny how all the answers that came into my wondering soul was nothing

And that was truly it I saw nothing there was no hate that I saw there was no pain that my body felt anymore, I no longer felt hate towards a single soul and for that I became a blind soul.

For now I was blind I then suddenly went deaf I heard no voices curse, a beat that made me move started playing and this was it, I found what I looking for a song that could show me life a song that opened my eyes not to see you again but to see the melodies faulting through the souls that stand in mist of music

Songs like this are the future of spreading the love for they tell a story with no words needed, you this is me listening to this track as I write this words, I may not know where they come from and who will read them but I hope there truly inspire the art of listening to this song because I AM INSPIRED

By the way you as the reader I love you from one human to the other we need to first start with the heart I always say.

Dark Shadow of Death

by Rohit Sapra

Circles, only circles are here
Circles of confusions
As this darkness represents death.
People come and leave
Then we turn so alone again
This grief hurts.
Everyone else is happy although I am very sad
Sad, so sad I am
That I do not know what to do?
Now, look at me as I am trying to feel the pain
I am letting blood drop from my spirit
I am crying as you take away my existence from me
By capturing my life, with your dirty hands.
As your hands come close to me I begin to feel scared
Since, I do not know that will you hurt or love?
All this darkness is spreading all over me
Are you going to make me wounded or will you end up loving me?
Now this darkness represents death
Blood will be dropping and I will be asking for help
Nobody will help as then I will be killed by the devils
Devils rule this world as God is not helping anymore.
By rohit sapra   

What am I doing to myself?

What am I doing to myself?

And so my journey began and life was what my god gave me, I began to live in a world where I was the victim, no one else, only I 

Like every other human, we all find a way out of things we call these our comfort zones and boy did I find my zone in the worst place, ALCOHOL.

This is a journey I took to forget things, things like being teased, growing up without knowing where your next meal would come from, abuse from not only family but your own community. All I wanted to do was FORGET THE PAIN.

I have and always knew the answers to my problem but it was like something which, until today I cannot explain, was holding me back, there was and at times there still is this big wall I have to break down, I want to know what it is?

Who am I truly fighting in side? I have learned to smile like I am this happy LITTLE BEING that lives a good life, I hide myself from the world that I so very much want to live in. I want to be known by people, leave a legacy for the next person to learn from.

Don’t lie to yourself, yes you the reader of these words, we both want to be heard, seen, and spoken of, for whatever reason you may have. I on the other side want to learn from people I want to do things that I never thought were possible for me to do.

WHAT AM I DOING TO MYSELF?

So I saw my life passing by, no one could tell me I was wrong for this voice inside me kept on saying “IT WILL BE OK” so I move on knowing that it was going to be ok and that in due time I’d put that glass down and fix my life. Little did I know that every time it said that, I died a little inside.

“How do you feel?”, this voice said a drink I thought because there was no answer as all I thought of was PAIN as I drink in this local pub I always called my home I would see other people and hate myself for the having problems and somehow when you have them, you think everyone else doesn’t so you hate the fact that you are the only one in this world with problems.

“IT WILL BE OK”, this voice said and funny how that was the only thing that would make me move on to put on that mask with a fake smile, that knight in shining armour suit to protect myself, not realizing that I was in fact building a wall that would be hard for me to demolish.

I gave the world answers to their problems and yet for some reason I could not use them myself, 

“IT WILL BE OK”, the voice said. I soon began to see life like that but I knew that the only way for it to be ok would be for me to have to do something about it.

How thoughts of my upbringing would torment me, the fact that I was born and raised by other family members and every time my MOM came over to see me I hated the fact that I was going to be left behind in this township that turned me into to a careless freak, from transporting weapons from one criminal to the other and then having to start taking drugs at an age where most would not even think of, 6 years is the age I took my first line.

The same year I saw the first person killed in front of me and that as a child I did not care they were not helping me anyway. I was young and this was not last time they stabbed him twice in the chest and at first it all looks like they are playing and then the blood starts to come out, as they fell down to their knees, a look in their fading eyes I gave, shame is what I saw, as though they were telling me that the world they are now leaving is lost.

“IT WILL BE OK” this voice repeated, as everyone else ran and some screaming I stood there looking at this being losing energy and taking their last few breaths, how it did not make sense to me, stand up and go wash the blood off I thought but then movies some time can teach you a thing or two, as soon as I thought of how Chuck Norris did it well kill others, yes I know I was once young too, but seeing a person die on TV and later seeing them on another show I walked away.

As I turned my back I ran home to sit in that empty room where I spoke out loud to myself and hell come to think of it, I was and at time still think I’m crazy.

A part of me he took with him I think, because the next death I saw I just walked the other way not caring and lived on with not a single bit of guilt as to why I did not call for help or go to the police and tell them what I saw.

Still look at death the same way, I recently got into a car accident and later had a seizure, spent a week on a hospital bed and in the first two days I flat lined three times and as I was told of how some white lights and this so called a talk with some God or whatever you have heard from others who have not even been there, They are wrong.

I found that I could not tell the difference from where I was in this other world I was surrounded by those close to me, well those I looked at as people who somehow care for I do not know how to love and lost the art of loving because growing up I was not told, that I was loved.

“I LOVE YOU” three words I never heard throughout my childhood.

This was a place where I wanted to live in, it was a place where I did not feel pain, I hurt was nowhere to be found for I was happy. Every time my chest felt a rush I opened my eyes to hear blurry voices not being able to hear what they were saying I soon came to realize that I was alone in this world no matter how you can talk about family being there for you and some friends being there for you. I am alone and IT WILL NOT BE OK.

Crammarc - Sa Conca (Original Mix)[MKR014]

ONE SOUL AT A TIME I SHALL HEAL THE WHOLE WORLD ONE PIECE AT A TIME I WILL FIX A BROKEN HEART. my name is Bhekumuzi Mdakane and i am human with feelings like you and to love we both can teach each other

Born and living in Jail

By Bhekumuzi Mdakane

Born and living in Jail

While every child deserves a happy and healthy environment to start of a journey in this world they are born into, for some children their adventure starts off behind bars due to crimes committed by their mothers.

A forgotten group that many don’t speak of are the children born in jail, Romy Titus a TV and radio journalist, producer and voice artist began her mission of helping children when she discovered in the year 2000 that there are women sentenced during their pregnancy and give birth during their incarceration.

Titus is the Founder and Director of Babies Behind Bars (BBB) based in Johannesburg which she started seven years later in 2007, a Public Benefit Organisation (PBO) and also happens to be a Non -Profit Organisation (NPO).

 “We’re ‘Babies Behind Bars’ and our mission is to care for children who are born in prisons to incarcerated mothers. The age focus is 0-2 as a child by law may only be with their mothers in prisons up to this age and no older – so to extend the age would be pointless as there are no children older than 2 years in prisons.” Titus says

Babies Behind Bars believes that no baby should start their lives in a cage “Our initiative is to ensure that each prison born baby everywhere in South Africa and Africa have the building blocks to be happy and healthy. We hope to touch the lives of every child subjected to life in prison on the African continent.” Sourced from their website

 “The children need to live a ‘normal’ life even though they find themselves in the worst off circumstances. It would be great is every prison had a play space outdoors dedicated to outside play time, well equipped crèches, a toy library and educational toys to ensure that early childhood development is on track.” Titus said Warm heartedly.

The charity goes to correctional centres throughout South African prisons and beyond the borders in countries such as Namibia and Swaziland giving hope to the mothers who are jailed whilst they are pregnant making sure that their kids receive, warm clothing, nappies, blankets, bottles, toiletries, proper nutrition and toys to play with.

She moves on to say “Making a difference would be our biggest achievement! Every second month we’re able to donate much needed goods to all the prisons we’re affiliated to and to reach this goal in itself with no financial backing is an achievement in itself.”

“Unlocking hope” is a motto BBB lives by and their helping hands assure the babies wellbeing from month in month out during the two year period they spend living in isolation.

 “Day to day, month to month, year to year... At the moment we’ve averaging at about 800 in South Africa and about 20 in Swaziland from our latest in house statistics.” She says

BBB has what they call Drop off and Packing Days where volunteers can drop off any thing that they may want donate and then it moves on to the packing of all the things they received heading straight to the correctional centres throughout the country and the rest of the continent.

“We have monthly themed drives, packing and drop off days which we’re always busy with. Our website houses all initiatives that we’re involved in. Our biggest projects of the year are Mandela Day, Corrections Week and International Day of the Child. We’re currently piecing together our BIG October even in conjunction with the Department of Correctional Services” says Titus

Working closely with shelters or homes such as Ratanang Home for Children with Multiple Disabilities, Rifilwe Project, Jan Nicholson Home and Hospital School Babies Behind Bars brings a new meaning to helping those in need.

However Titus mentions “Our focus is to assist children while they are with their mothers only. This is our purpose and mission. Children exceeding two years have to either leave to stay with a family member who is able to care for the child or they’re placed in homes which the department of Correctional Services and Child welfare handle.

A cry for help is not yet heard for the basic need in storage facilities, office space, disposable Nappies, educational toys, baby toiletries, courier (South Africa, Namibia and Swaziland), baby and toddler toys, food and formula

“We operated in every prison in the country that house mothers and children. We’ve not been fortunate enough to physically visit each and every one of them due to financial constraints but we have visited Upington, Pollsmoor, Johannesburg, Durban, Kroonstad and Oudtshoorn.” Titus says

Knowing that 85% of prison officials have no training in working with children BBB is asking for a helping hand with them currently having a packing day on Saturday 31st August 2013 from 10:00 till 14h00 collecting summer clothing and baby goodies.

“Nappies, food, formula, toiletries and educational toys will be welcome as we gear towards fulfilling every child’s Christmas wish”. Drop off happens Johannesburg between 10am and 11am on Saturday 28th September 2013. These Drop off and Packing Days will go on until 23 November 2013 for more information email info@babiesbehindbar.com

I Heard Your Voice Today

by Jazmine

I heard your voice today.
It was absolutely perfect as always
I felt weightless
Like I was hanging from a cloud
In a different place than here.
The way a light sparked inside of me again
When all these days I've felt is sadness
It was beautiful.
It didn't last long though
That was the last time I will hear your voice
For maybe months to come
It just reminded me
Don't take what you have for granted.
"You sound different, I guess it's because I haven't talked to you in so long"
That choked me up inside
It's true
It's felt like forever.
The sad thing is though
We won't speak to each other
For 10x longer.
I miss you so much
It's killed me every day
& even caused me to relapse
Because I just couldn't fight it for another day.
I promise
I will be stronger after this
Anything for you.   

Midnight In Heaven's Rome

by Baby Rainbow

My eyes are dazzled by the
enchanting scenery that now surrounds me.
The dark sky is tinselled with silver stars
and the glowing moon lights up our
midnight in Heaven's Rome.

Oh to feel your warm embrace
just takes my breath away.
The soft clouds beneath our feet
is the sand on our beautiful heaven.

I became so tired of running away
from my inept display of trying
to let you go. My life felt like
an empty hole that swallowed me up
as soon as you were gone.

Are you aware that I visit you often
inside my dreams? We share these
magical moments that connect our
hearts together, just like they
were meant to be.

But as you lean in to press your lips
gently against mine, I am woken
by the screams of next door
which take me on the short journey
back to reality:

The reality of having to let go
of what we used to have,
and what will never be.

Saffie
22

3/8/13   

“Eish” if only you knew my world

“Eish” if only you knew my world

A rainbow nation we are and South Africa (SA) paints a picture of humanity, with the people from all over having one common thing they possess, a friendly smile that welcomes you. With eleven languages that come with a wide variety of culture, this nation will surely give you an understanding of unity.

When walking through the streets of this beautifully breathe taking country, a path that most people should think of doing or writing it down in their bucket list you say “hi” and the first thing you get is a warm welcoming smile, the kind that helps you feel at home not matter where you are.

I was born in a time where “The Long To Freedom” was still taking baby steps and people where now free to move around and live anywhere they please, well that’s if they could afford it… hahaha “eish”

“Eish” for those who don’t know is a local phrase used by mainly our citizens to express either a moment when they make a mistake, when they see something amazing, or when they remember something and at times even when they can’t remember  it “eish” (where am I going with this) cliché I know…..

During my up bring I had the chance to live with Emma (biological mom) who happened to be a single parent raising three kids Lucky (sister) and Simon (brother), but good lord she fought hard, giving up her dream of becoming a Doctor to being a Domestic worker or Helper if that makes you comfortable.

Mr and Mrs Newby, Mark (dad) and Pia (mom2)…. “eish” ….. My sister and I had the chance to grow in a world where we were blind to race and deaf discrimination against it.

Life to me was and still is a learning process like any other human hence we all learn until we take our last breath. “Eish” hopefully that is not anytime soon

South Africa to me is one of the most unique countries in the world and I am proud to call it my home, I was given a chance to go to schools that most would call posh and got to live and work with people from different walks of life.

I feel in many ways that I as a person who speaks fluent English, SeSotho and although my Zulu slightly stumbles now and then “eish”,that I have a greater view of the new South Africa and as to what needs to be changed.

Living in a land that has everyone smiling back at you and although they don’t have much they are willing to share their last slice of bread with you just so that we can both live and build a brighter future together, has made me wonder why humans say “ put yourself first”

Yes you find those who do but in this country the focus is being friendly, we live as a family and like any house hold we don’t agree in a number of things, we are a growing nation, hence it has only been 19-years since the advent of the democratic dispensation in South Africa.

Our history roars with miss understandings and the mistakes every human make thinking that it is the only way of saving the world or merely for some, it is the greed they can’t seem to let go of, “eish” what a moment it was during those time I’m sure.

We still need help like any other but we do see the light at the end of the tunnel and we are moving forward at a fast pace. “Eish” Let’s face it every country has its own political problems and yes we do too but my country is made to believe in Ubuntu (a Zulu word meaning Humanity)

We have a common father of whom we call Tata (Xhosa for dad or Father) or as some call him Madiba and the rest of the world, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, he is loved by many, oh yes he is loved by many, he is the one man I can live to talk to people about and teach anyone who wants to know more of how a soul gave up his life to help better the future of a nation that was once lost.

Mandela gave a nation answers as to how we can share this mother land, how we can live together and welcome those who want to help correct the misunderstandings that not only South Africa but the world is facing till this day, “A Long Walk To Freedom” he calls it and on behalf of humanity “THANK YOU TATA” Eish what a good soul he has I must say.

Leaning more than a person who lived in an area surrounded by one race, it has never made sense to me as to why some people saw things differently, like say why a child my age would have the same mentality as my biological mother,a cultural mind set, where everything said is taken literally the way you said it, jokes aside but “eish” it turns to be funny at times.

Although we now have most of the youth, well as we call them “Born Frees” moving and shaping this country into is welcoming and eager to learn more from each other type of thing “eish”

In today’s world whether it may be first, second or third, South Africa is there flying our rainbow coloured flag high and mighty, we still need to educate more within the not so fortunate areas but hey wealthier countries have those too.

The problem with being me ( the finished piece)

by Mathiba Len Molefe

Under Siege

The problem with being me is that I can’t do you
The problem with you is that you found someone new
The problem with new is you not sure he’ll come through
The problem with new is he may have someone too
That someone too might have a few niggas who
Expect to be the only one but only one might not do
If it don’t then the circle went and exponentially grew
To holding so many from once holding so few
I must admit it’s always awesome when it’s new
But the problem with new is if that someone new isn’t you
If it isn’t you, you may begin to wonder who
But you can’t wonder who if in truth you never knew

Killigrew - My Love

Where I am Forgotten

by Real Meaning

Some thing is lost in my soul.
Something French something more divine than wine.
Something more refined than fine.
Something so seemingly insignificant
Lost in an allies of a feeling, a trace of touch
Something in the soil of France that "Sadegh Hedayt" kissed
Something like a spark, a French poetry in the dry hays of souls
The whisper of Eluard in
the ear of air
The caresses of his words
on the skin of my beauty
Something like "Jean Valjean" in the dungeon
Something that I would never forget
because it is me
Where I am forgotten

  

You Don't Even Know

by Bailey

Boy, you're the highlight of my day,
My heart quickens when I see your name,
My lungs seem to stop working when you say mine,
You drive me insane.

You always say you'll protect me from anything,
Even though you're so far away,
You wouldn't even hesitate,
To do anything for me, any day.

It seems like you really like me,
But you say you don't know,
And get really irritated,
Then say you want to be left alone.

You ignore me for a few days,
But forgive me after awhile,
We pick up where we left off,
And make each other smile.

You came into my life,
Not too long ago,
We have formed an unbreakable bond,
And Boy... you don't even know...   

The Devil's Promise

by Lemon

Have you ever loved someone so much
That you'd do anything for them?
When my heart took to pacing these cold, stone corridors
The day I lost you
I knew I'd do anything
Literally anything

To save you
So I gave up
Myself

Now you walk free
Whilst I am in manacles
Shackled
Chained to a place between existence and nothingness
A puppet for the man downstairs
Kept away from the sun
Every day is torture, yet somehow
This suffering is worth it, knowing you have another chance at life
Whatever hardship I must bear,
The Devil kept his promise   

The Warriors Song

by Aaron D BOAL

To war we go again,
Deep in the enemies land we begin,
To cast a blow to our foes,
Indeed let us begin!
A war inside each man is bread,
To start the war for bloodshed,
O'! Erring one who has sinned!
To war let us begin!
To wage the battle,
Oh Lord let us begin.

To strike the foe we must mend,
A hero so bold as sin.
Man no more let us begin!
Oh soldier of war let us begin.
Where boys become men,
Friends lost to ones own spear,
Dropped in battle out of fear.
Oh behold the quaking fear!
Let the soldiers carry home wounds too deep to bear.
Beat the shields and call the forces square,
Let us end the night today and pray,
For on the 'morrow we will all be chosen,
To meet our Lord in the heavens.

(supposed to be a warriors song which to carry into battle)

----
copyright) Aaron D. 7.27.13